maybe if you knew
how many days I have spent
in a battle inside my own head
missing you then hating you,
telling myself that I don’t love you
or how many invitations I have declined;
or saturdays I have stayed in
pathetically waiting for your phone call.
maybe if you knew
how many letters I have composed
just to toss in the trash
or how many messages I have almost sent to you
but simply did not because I knew you wouldn’t reply
maybe then you would find it easier to love me than resent me
of course that’s unrealistic
but you should know, heartbreak has costed me my sense of reality.
I try to tell myself that you aren’t worth it.
That you aren’t worth my tears,
But the thing is,
No one made me so happy,
No one made smile,
No one cared,
No one made me fall in love,
No one made me feel like I actually mattered,
Like you did.
You are worth it, to me.
Everyone is put on earth with a purpose. There is a reason as to why every single person is here. Maybe one person will save a life, another will build something as beautiful as the Eifel Tower, or maybe someone will have the cure for cancer. Everyone is put on earth with a purpose and sometimes it takes decades to find your purpose, to find why you were born and what you have to contribute to this world. Maybe it’ll be the littlest thing or perhaps you’ll do something so big that it’ll change the way of living. Everyone is put on earth with a purpose and the footprints you leave behind are what define the person you were when you were alive. Twenty-four years of struggles and triumphs; and I have never once doubted my purpose for life and why it is that I was put on earth, in this specific time, in this specific city, in this specific body. I have loved you since the first day I laid eyes on you. I have loved you entirely, I have loved you freely; I have loved you with purpose. I might not be a scientist, the next Shakespeare, or a politician, but I was put on earth to solely love you. You have this fear in your eyes the kind that paints art of doubt. You fear never being good enough and never having the special spark that you require to move on in life. You breathe uneasily and sometimes as you lay on my chest I feel the pain you carry inside you. I was put on earth with purpose and it was to tell you this: Never, once have I stopped loving you because you were “too damaged,” “too fucked up,” “too cold,” or “a lost cause, and no room for repair.” I have a purpose, and it’s a damn good purpose. I love you, I love you; I love you. I am here to love you. I am here to hold you when you feel like the world is upon your shoulders and I will take the weight and bare it on my back so that you don’t walk a day in pain. I am here to wake you up to infinite kisses and tell you that you are loved, Holy God you are loved. I am here to push you and tell you that you are going to school, you are going to work, for fuck sakes you are getting out of bed and facing the day. I am here to make you laugh when you feel like crying and I am here to hold you when you just need to cry. I am here to be your punching bag when you bare fists full of disappointment. I am here to make love to you and to love every inch of skin that God put on your body. I have a purpose and it’s a damn good purpose. I am here to stand along the sidelines when you fight your battles and I will shout at the top of my lungs, “I will be here when you win and I will be here when you lose.” I am here, on earth, for you. I am here when you travel the world and you need to climb every mountain to feel whole. I will be at home waiting for you to tell me about your adventures, to tell me you missed me and how one day we’ll go back to visit these places together. I am here, I am here; I am here to love you. I am here to write novels about you and explain to the world that I love a woman who no other will ever compare to. She has her flaws, and she isn’t near to perfect, but fuck do I love her and no other woman. I love her scent, her feel, her laugh, her eyes, her hands, her passion, her heart; I love almost everything about her. I am here with purpose and it’s a damn good purpose. Years from now if you find that you no longer need me, I will still have this purpose and I will still love you entirely. I was put on earth to tell you I love you, to tell you that it’s just a bad day and we’ll get through this together. I am here to believe in you. I am here to love you. I fell in love with you for the beautiful person you are. I fell in love with you because you weren’t every other girl, because you had your own way about living life. I am here to love you, and I promise you that this is my purpose in life, and it will never go away; I will love you, I will love you, I will love you even on days when you don’t have the courage to love yourself.
Page 1 to the book about her (V.I.T.)
Once we begin to celebrate what our body does rather than obsessing on how it looks, we start to appreciate our body as an instrument rather than an ornament.